Once upon a time I worked in construction. The years between college and my current career was spent outside on a ladder, walking a scaffold, holding a hammer. This wasn’t a glamorous job. I endured the summer heat and the winter’s cold installing aluminum siding (before vinyl became the standard), shingling roofs, and hanging gutters. There was one advantage to this job, I was an insider to Jerry and Mike.

Jerry was my crew leader. He was a young Air Force vet struggling to support a family. Mike was a recent college grad with a major in philosophy. Walking a third-story scaffolding, we would debate God, talk about marriage, or review the latest movie. Jerry and Mike soon became good friends. Then the question came.

“Bill, why don’t you join us for a drink after work next Thursday?” I offered an excuse the first time they asked but realized that I had to make a decision. Would I join them at the local bar after work?

While the New Testament doesn’t record Jesus visiting a bar, He did frequent parties. After deciding to follow Jesus, Matthew threw a party for his friends to meet this new rabbi (Matthew 9:9-13). This wasn’t a Sunday School picnic. All kinds of unsavory people showed up. Jesus was “sitting in the the smoking section” and the religious conservatives called him on it. “No upstanding rabbi would associate with these kinds of people,” they implied (Matthew 9:11). After all, association leads to spiritual contamination.

As insiders, we will face moral and conscience challenges as we live in the world next to people. The moral challenges we face are often straightforward; we must respond in obedience. However, the challenges of conscience in social settings are more difficult. I think Jesus navigated through social challenges by four simple principles.

• Be comfortable but not conformed. Jesus was comfortable with all types of people — a Roman officer, a disreputable tax collector, a promiscuous woman, a Jewish leader, a recently exorcised person. Luke records that “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them” (Luke 15:1). Jesus was socially comfortable but did not conform to people’s morals.

• Be insulated but not isolated. Jesus believed that sanctification — being set apart for God — was about inner character and not always about place. He prayed for His followers to be sanctified so that they could be sent to the world where my friends Jerry and Mike lived (John 17:17-19). He was insulated from sin’s dangers but not isolated from people. Sometimes separation is needed but this separation is usually from sinful believers not unbelievers (1 Corinthians 5:9-11).

• Be compassionate but not condemning. When challenged by the relationships he kept, Jesus compared these unsavory friends to patients needing a doctor (Matthew 9:12). The issue wasn’t condemnation for what they had done but compassion for their condition. People aren’t the enemy, sin and Satan are the enemies.

• Be challenging but not self-righteous. Jesus had several advantages over us. One, he knew the hearts of people and could speak into their hearts (Matthew 9:4). Two, he knew when to confront with justice and when to challenge with a question. We don’t have Jesus’ authority to exercise justice but we can ask questions! Well placed and thought-out questions can challenge a heart and behavior without appearing to be self-righteous.

Jesus was the consummate insider, maintaining a moral compass while caring for people. Social relationships with people of differing values and morals were opportunities for compassion and conversation not situations to avoid. When we enter the morally challenging and distressed values of our unbelieving friends we will be socially challenged. Jesus shows us how to live in this world.

So . . . did I go to the bar? Did I have a drink with Mike and Jerry? Did I become the designated driver? What would Jesus do? As an insider, what would you do?